Fear of being alone and negative thoughts about my external and internal beauty.
By Anonymous Beauty
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Letting go, Yup, Characteristics!
I would like to let go of my old characteristics. The ones that prevent me from becoming a well spoken, well mannerd, articulate man, with fresh ideas on business, life, and politics.
By Jaqure
By Jaqure
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Letting go is so unrealistic!
Letting go is so unrealistic! I love playing with fire!
By Anonymous Wreck...
By Anonymous Wreck...
Saturday, December 6, 2008
A little more wreckless!
Thanks for being a part of my world... Please know that if i had to do it again I would do it exactly the same way at the same time... In the mist of our friendship and other undisclosed relationship, we have found companionship, understanding, similar thought processes, intimacy and simple moments of smiles, hunger, dehydration, laughter, and surprised looks! Woke up thinking that I should pull my card before I compromise my feelings but then decided let me be a little more wreckless!
By Anonymous Wreck...
By Anonymous Wreck...
Monday, September 15, 2008
Letting Go - Furniture
Sometimes you get used to things in such a way that they stop existing. They exist solely to fulfill their purpose in your life. To accomodate your needs and desires. I wonder how they would feel if they had a life of their own? Possibly like a neglected wife, an abandoned child or a patient God, who waits endlessly for one second of our time.
Three years! That piece of furniture has seen the best and worst of me. It holds stories that I will never relive, others that I have probably forgotten and many that only I will remember. When the load of life became too heavy to bare, I laid it in its firmness. Knowing that it would absorb all of it before I had to face another day. In its solitude I dared to dream and found the courage to write for endless hours. On many ocassions its warmth allowed me to experience pleasures that overshadowed my fear of darkness. Many evenings I slept in firm and gentle arms. But there were those nights when the coldness of its cushion threatened to break my bones.
I'm not sure when I stopped noticing its presence, but I did. It may have been the night it held me gently, cautious of not letting me fall into a deep void. It was the only place where I couldn't fall part. The perfect place to speak with God, even when words remained silent. It heard me laugh and saw me cry. It heard me pray and saw me dream. It has been faithful to my needs. And yet, I stopped appreciating it.
Which makes me ask myself, is it in our nature to stop appreciating the constant and stagnant? Do we ever stop chasing what is running away from us? Do we ever learn to appreciate the luxuries that have become common in our space?
Three years! That piece of furniture has seen the best and worst of me. It holds stories that I will never relive, others that I have probably forgotten and many that only I will remember. When the load of life became too heavy to bare, I laid it in its firmness. Knowing that it would absorb all of it before I had to face another day. In its solitude I dared to dream and found the courage to write for endless hours. On many ocassions its warmth allowed me to experience pleasures that overshadowed my fear of darkness. Many evenings I slept in firm and gentle arms. But there were those nights when the coldness of its cushion threatened to break my bones.
I'm not sure when I stopped noticing its presence, but I did. It may have been the night it held me gently, cautious of not letting me fall into a deep void. It was the only place where I couldn't fall part. The perfect place to speak with God, even when words remained silent. It heard me laugh and saw me cry. It heard me pray and saw me dream. It has been faithful to my needs. And yet, I stopped appreciating it.
Which makes me ask myself, is it in our nature to stop appreciating the constant and stagnant? Do we ever stop chasing what is running away from us? Do we ever learn to appreciate the luxuries that have become common in our space?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Letting Go - Clothing
I know what you're thinking 'clothing is such an easy thing to give up', think twice!
I finally found the courage to start letting go! I thought it would be a good idea to begin with an item that is replaceable, clothing. At first I was so excited that I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. I put my Ipod on shuffle and opened a bottle of wine. Rolled the sleeves to my yellow v-neck shirt and took a deep breath as I headed to the closet. I took two steps back took a sip of wine and headed towards the closet one more time.
I opened the closet door to find a crowded five by twelve space. I grabbed seven hangers with shirts and placed them on my bed. Another eight and another ten. Before I knew it my closet was on top of my bed, messy and terrified of it's destiny. I separated the clothing into two piles, keeping and letting go. At the end of my evaluation the letting go had three items in it. The worst part is that they were gifts, that I never liked and had placed in the back of my closet, with the hope of never seeing it again. They were a reflection of my ungratefulness to people's thoughtfulness. Why was I holding on to the items on the keeping section? It didn't make sense.
I went through the stack again and understood what I was truly holding on to. The short red dress was the one item that made me feel pretty when I was eighteen years old. It had travelled with me for a decade. The black, long sleeve, with the green flower in the middle, dressy shirt that I wore for my graduation was a memory of my efforts. The pink sweater had been my favorite in college. The purple dressy shirt reminded me of my skinny days and my journey in Spain. The old navy jeans, size 2, remind me of an innocent young girl that was happy. The iceberg shirt was a gift from the man I was once in love with. And I can go on for hours.
I realized that I was holding on to a past that left me behind a long time ago. Those clothing items were building dust and occupying space. They were not the reflection of self-love, success, good times, a healthy body, mind and spirit, experience, true love and life. They were memories that I feared of loosing if I gave up these items. They were times that I wanted to hold on to.
As I observed more than half the pile on the letting go section I couldn't help but smile. Because I understood that I would never wear those clothing again and I could never go back to my past neither. And I was happy for that because I am ready for new beginnings. The truth is that I have evolved. I am not the person I was when I was 18 years old - I've grown up. I have new interests, new ideas, a new perspective on life, a present to live and a future to look forward to.
Besides, even if I were to be a size 2 again, why would I want to wear a pair of jeans that I've had for ten years tuck away in a closet? That should be celebrated with a new pair of jeans.
By the time the box was half full, the bottle of wine was empty, my throat was sore from singing and my heart felt relief at the discovery that it was at peace and filled with joy!
Cheers to Letting Go!
I finally found the courage to start letting go! I thought it would be a good idea to begin with an item that is replaceable, clothing. At first I was so excited that I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. I put my Ipod on shuffle and opened a bottle of wine. Rolled the sleeves to my yellow v-neck shirt and took a deep breath as I headed to the closet. I took two steps back took a sip of wine and headed towards the closet one more time.
I opened the closet door to find a crowded five by twelve space. I grabbed seven hangers with shirts and placed them on my bed. Another eight and another ten. Before I knew it my closet was on top of my bed, messy and terrified of it's destiny. I separated the clothing into two piles, keeping and letting go. At the end of my evaluation the letting go had three items in it. The worst part is that they were gifts, that I never liked and had placed in the back of my closet, with the hope of never seeing it again. They were a reflection of my ungratefulness to people's thoughtfulness. Why was I holding on to the items on the keeping section? It didn't make sense.
I went through the stack again and understood what I was truly holding on to. The short red dress was the one item that made me feel pretty when I was eighteen years old. It had travelled with me for a decade. The black, long sleeve, with the green flower in the middle, dressy shirt that I wore for my graduation was a memory of my efforts. The pink sweater had been my favorite in college. The purple dressy shirt reminded me of my skinny days and my journey in Spain. The old navy jeans, size 2, remind me of an innocent young girl that was happy. The iceberg shirt was a gift from the man I was once in love with. And I can go on for hours.
I realized that I was holding on to a past that left me behind a long time ago. Those clothing items were building dust and occupying space. They were not the reflection of self-love, success, good times, a healthy body, mind and spirit, experience, true love and life. They were memories that I feared of loosing if I gave up these items. They were times that I wanted to hold on to.
As I observed more than half the pile on the letting go section I couldn't help but smile. Because I understood that I would never wear those clothing again and I could never go back to my past neither. And I was happy for that because I am ready for new beginnings. The truth is that I have evolved. I am not the person I was when I was 18 years old - I've grown up. I have new interests, new ideas, a new perspective on life, a present to live and a future to look forward to.
Besides, even if I were to be a size 2 again, why would I want to wear a pair of jeans that I've had for ten years tuck away in a closet? That should be celebrated with a new pair of jeans.
By the time the box was half full, the bottle of wine was empty, my throat was sore from singing and my heart felt relief at the discovery that it was at peace and filled with joy!
Cheers to Letting Go!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Letting Go - Process
Yes, it has been nearly two months since I started the letting go journey. And I must admit that it has not been an easy one. I was not sure where to start or how to start the letting go process.
After much thought, I came to the conclusion that the first thing I need to do is to implement some sort of structure. I've always been the 'spontaneous' type. But with time I've come to the realization that organization and planning are necessary for the most minimal things in life. Even something as simple as reading a book. For example; you need to select a book amongst the millions that exist, purchase it or borrow it, read it, and if time permits than analyze it. Everything requires a process wether we're aware or not.
My process is simple, start with the small things and work myself up to the complicated ones. As I once wrote 'It is when you know the little things that big things seem possible'. What are the 'big things'? I have no idea, we'll see when I get there. The hope is that after letting go of so many little things the big things will seem small themselves.
The beauty of a process is that it can always be changed or altered if is not working!
After much thought, I came to the conclusion that the first thing I need to do is to implement some sort of structure. I've always been the 'spontaneous' type. But with time I've come to the realization that organization and planning are necessary for the most minimal things in life. Even something as simple as reading a book. For example; you need to select a book amongst the millions that exist, purchase it or borrow it, read it, and if time permits than analyze it. Everything requires a process wether we're aware or not.
My process is simple, start with the small things and work myself up to the complicated ones. As I once wrote 'It is when you know the little things that big things seem possible'. What are the 'big things'? I have no idea, we'll see when I get there. The hope is that after letting go of so many little things the big things will seem small themselves.
The beauty of a process is that it can always be changed or altered if is not working!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Letting Go - Trading In
Every year comes filled with hope and dreams. It also comes with an endless list of things that we didn't make the time for in prior years - And hope to cross out this year.
This year I didn't make a list or carried over old dreams. Because that's all they are, old dreams that belong to the woman that I used to be.
In 2008, I want to clean my life of things that I have been holding on to that no longer belong to me. I am trading them in for the blessings God has placed in store for me. As we all know, we can't put new wine into old wine skin. Therefore, I need to do my part in order for God to do HIS.
This is not something that I will accomplish in one day, one week or one month. It is going to be a journey of its own. Because I understand that it is going to take time to let go of what was once so dear to me. And because hard journeys require preparation, I have put together a map of my journey. This map will guide me in the right direction. And granted, I may take a wrong turn every now and than, but I promise myself to find the way.
Every two weeks I am going to let go of an unhealthy habit/memory/routine, etc. and will trade it in for a healthy one.
This year I didn't make a list or carried over old dreams. Because that's all they are, old dreams that belong to the woman that I used to be.
In 2008, I want to clean my life of things that I have been holding on to that no longer belong to me. I am trading them in for the blessings God has placed in store for me. As we all know, we can't put new wine into old wine skin. Therefore, I need to do my part in order for God to do HIS.
This is not something that I will accomplish in one day, one week or one month. It is going to be a journey of its own. Because I understand that it is going to take time to let go of what was once so dear to me. And because hard journeys require preparation, I have put together a map of my journey. This map will guide me in the right direction. And granted, I may take a wrong turn every now and than, but I promise myself to find the way.
Every two weeks I am going to let go of an unhealthy habit/memory/routine, etc. and will trade it in for a healthy one.
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