Letting Go - Clothing

I know what you're thinking 'clothing is such an easy thing to give up', think twice!

I finally found the courage to start letting go! I thought it would be a good idea to begin with an item that is replaceable, clothing. At first I was so excited that I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. I put my Ipod on shuffle and opened a bottle of wine. Rolled the sleeves to my yellow v-neck shirt and took a deep breath as I headed to the closet. I took two steps back took a sip of wine and headed towards the closet one more time.

I opened the closet door to find a crowded five by twelve space. I grabbed seven hangers with shirts and placed them on my bed. Another eight and another ten. Before I knew it my closet was on top of my bed, messy and terrified of it's destiny. I separated the clothing into two piles, keeping and letting go. At the end of my evaluation the letting go had three items in it. The worst part is that they were gifts, that I never liked and had placed in the back of my closet, with the hope of never seeing it again. They were a reflection of my ungratefulness to people's thoughtfulness. Why was I holding on to the items on the keeping section? It didn't make sense.

I went through the stack again and understood what I was truly holding on to. The short red dress was the one item that made me feel pretty when I was eighteen years old. It had travelled with me for a decade. The black, long sleeve, with the green flower in the middle, dressy shirt that I wore for my graduation was a memory of my efforts. The pink sweater had been my favorite in college. The purple dressy shirt reminded me of my skinny days and my journey in Spain. The old navy jeans, size 2, remind me of an innocent young girl that was happy. The iceberg shirt was a gift from the man I was once in love with. And I can go on for hours.

I realized that I was holding on to a past that left me behind a long time ago. Those clothing items were building dust and occupying space. They were not the reflection of self-love, success, good times, a healthy body, mind and spirit, experience, true love and life. They were memories that I feared of loosing if I gave up these items. They were times that I wanted to hold on to.

As I observed more than half the pile on the letting go section I couldn't help but smile. Because I understood that I would never wear those clothing again and I could never go back to my past neither. And I was happy for that because I am ready for new beginnings. The truth is that I have evolved. I am not the person I was when I was 18 years old - I've grown up. I have new interests, new ideas, a new perspective on life, a present to live and a future to look forward to.

Besides, even if I were to be a size 2 again, why would I want to wear a pair of jeans that I've had for ten years tuck away in a closet? That should be celebrated with a new pair of jeans.

By the time the box was half full, the bottle of wine was empty, my throat was sore from singing and my heart felt relief at the discovery that it was at peace and filled with joy!

Cheers to Letting Go!